“… Well I’m not paying for something I didn’t eat, I even sent it back to the kitchen.”
“That no my problem. You ask I pick dish for you, no my fault you no like.”
“Yeah well that’s because I thought you were going to choose something Greek and delicious for me to eat.” Becky pointed to the imaginary plate in front of her. The table cloth looked like a crime scene, it was covered in deep red wine stains – evidently we’d both been missing our glasses and free pouring wine all over the table.
“I ask you want something else. You say no. I change for you but you no say, so you pay for beef.”
“But I didn’t eat any of it! I’m not paying for something I didn’t eat. Can I speak to your manage please?”
“I am manager.” (Awkward).
“Well Sir” she said in a slightly posher voice “I am not paying €15 for a dinner that wasn’t very nice and that I didn’t consume” and at that Becky crossed her arms and turned away from him. I dropped my head in my hands in an attempt to disappear.
“Well I call police!”
Shit, when did this get so serious? I can’t go to a Greek prison. Mind you, if anyone’s going to prison it’s Becky – I’m not the one with beef about my beef. I guess I could stay in sunny Greece with her until she gets bail. I’m such a good friend.
“Fine, call the police” she exclaimed with a very large swooping arm gesture.
“Err Becky… Becky” I whispered over the table… “It is kind of your fault for letting the man order for you…”
“Yes but I didn’t like it and he’s being a giant fuc…”
“Let’s just pay and go yeah? I don’t want spend our last night in a Greek jail!” Christ my sun burn was hot, very hot… I felt sick.
“Where’s he gone?” Becky said, spinning wildly in her chair.
“Probably gone to call the police”… Shit! We quickly emptied our purses, paid the full bill and scuttled off into the night.
“I should have just ordered Greek salad” Becky said in a small voice.
Serves 1 / Hands on time 5 mins / Total time 5 mins / V Gf
½ cucumber, peeled and thickly chopped
2 tomatoes, cut into eighths
¼ green pepper, sliced
¼ red onion, finely sliced
Handful pitted black olives
50g vegetarian feta
1 baby gem lettuce
½ tsp dried oregano
Extra virgin olive oil
1. Every Greek salad I ordered in Greece came like this, you are expected in most places to dress the salad yourself so it comes dry with just a sprinkling of oregano. Its very simply layered so lets begin with the lettuce. Line a medium sized bowl with 5 or 6 lettuce leaves.
2. Chop the tomatoes into eighths and peel the cucumber. Chop into large chunks. Season well with salt and pepper and mix the tomato and cucumber roughly together. Place on top of the leaves in the centre of your bowl. Sprinkle with dried oregano.
3. The Greeks like big chunks of green pepper but I’m not keen so I sliced my green pepper into long thin strips and positioned them around the sides. Finely chop the red onion and scatter on top of the salad.
4. Top with olives and a slab of feta. Finally sprinkle with oregano and drizzle generously with olive oil. Lusciousness.
If you’ve had a go at making my salad or any of my recipes I’d love to hear about it @corrieheale firstname.lastname@example.org
V– Vegetarian Gf– Gluten free