I would love to be the kind of person who springs out of bed at 6am to enjoy 30 minutes of yoga before mindfully eating a homemade smoothie bowl. The kind of person who has their clothes already laid out from the night before and who needs nothing more than a sweep of red lipstick before they’re out of the door catching the early bus to work. Clearly, I am not this person. Occasionally I manage to get up at 7.30am to do 10 minutes of Pilates in my pyjamas before making an omelette – but that’s as close as I’m ever going to get.
Most of the time, you’ll find me crawling out of bed at around ten past eight, before rushing around like a headless chicken until I’m out the door with my top on inside out. I suppose I could try to get up earlier and make myself a nutritious breakfast, and you know what – sometimes I do. But on the days I don’t/can’t be arsed, I need a solution – and this is it. One piece of rye bread filled with avocado, smoked paprika and pumpkin seeds, BOOM! It’s quick, easy and not too messy and stinky to eat on the bus. Hallelujah!
Avocado breakfast sarnie to go
Serves 1 / Hands on time 5 mins / Total time 5 mins /V VnDf
Method Lightly toast a piece of rye bread before mashing half an avocado on top of it with a fork. Spread the avocado out evenly and sprinkle with salt, pepper, smoked paprika and a few drops of Tabasco or Sriracha. Scatter over the pumpkin seeds before halving the toast and sandwiching one piece on top of the other. Wrap in baking paper or pop in a sandwich bag and enjoy on the go. TIP: I freeze rye bread a loaf at a time to insure I always have some ready to go. If toasting from frozen, allow a bit of extra time.
If you’ve had a go at making my avocado sarnie or any of my other recipes, I’d love to hear about it @corrieheale firstname.lastname@example.org
I can’t believe I went all the way to Paris and didn’t eat a lemon and sugar crêpe – they’re my absolute favourite. But then again, it wasn’t pancake day and I was busy eating my weight in cheese (#noregrets). Also, did you know that in French McDonald’s, you can order your burger with emmental cheese? The French are so cool, I wish I was French.
Sadly I’m not though, but this recipe is and makes around six crêpes (so 4 for you and 2 for your loved one). What? If you’re the person making the pancakes, you automatically get ‘bakers rights’… Yes that’s a thing… Maybe.
Wholemeal crêpes with lemon & sugar
Makes 6 / Hands on time 10 mins / Total time 20 mins / V
30g unsalted butter
150g wholemeal flour
1 medium egg
325ml semi-skimmed milk
Pinch of salt
1 tsp of rapeseed oil
Lemon wedges to serve
Golden caster sugar to serve
TIP: If you’re making a batch, preheat an oven to 60°C and heat a large plate in it. Once your first pancake is cooked, carefully transfer it onto the warm plate in the oven and cover loosely with a large piece of foil. Continue to add the pancakes on top of one and other, remembering to replace the foil on top to protect them. Serve as suggested above.
1. Start by melting your butter in a small saucepan on a low heat. Once melted, take off the heat and put to one side to cool slightly.
2. In a large mixing bowl, measure out your wholemeal flour and add a pinch of salt. In a measuring jug, measure out your milk and add 1 egg. Give it a good whisk until combined.
3. Make a well in the middle of the flour and start adding the milk mixture bit by bit, whisking continuously (this is easier than it sounds). Start to incorporate more and more flour from the outside until you have a smooth batter. Whisk in the warm melted butter and then pour the batter back into the jug.
4. Add the oil to a medium non-stick frying pan over a medium to high heat. Once hot, pour a ladle of the mixture into the middle of the pan and manoeuvre the pan to spread it out to the edges evenly. The pancake should start to bubble and go a golden brown colour. Using a spatula, run around the edge of the pancake until it becomes completely loose and ready to flip. Be brave!
5. Flip the pancake over and cook on the other side for another couple of minutes. Turn out onto a plate and serve hot with a sprinkle of granulated sugar and good squeeze of lemon. If making more than one pancake, be sure to oil your pan before each pancake to prevent from sticking.
If you’ve had a go at making my pancakes or any of my recipes, I’d love to hear about it @corrieheale email@example.com
Yes friends, its that time of year again, it’s officially cheap arse edible gift time, hooray! So why not spare some pennies and give the less important friends in your life, a disappointing edible gift for Christmas.
The beauty of the edible gift is that the receiver has to be grateful for your efforts, no matter how minimal or shit your gift is, it’s brilliant. They’ll obviously know you’re being cheap but hey, they’re not your important friends so who cares right? Frankly, they should be lucky to be getting a present at all.
Although be warned, if this is your second year of edible gifting, be prepared to receive some revengeful edible gifts in return for last years efforts (I can certainly sense a jar of disappointing onion chutney winging its way to me in the post.)
Anyway, this years edible gift is vanilla shortbread. It’s literally made from three ingredients you probably already have in your cupboard, sugar, flour and butter. I actually add a touch of salt and vanilla to mine to give it a bit of pizzazz but that’s it. Not only is it irresistibly short and crumbly but it’s melt in the mouth delicious, so you never know, perhaps you’ll be forgiven for being cheap for one more year.
But hey, if shortbread isn’t your bag, then why not try last years edible gift Salted Saltana & Rum Fudge.
Vanilla shortbread Makes 1 round / Hands on time 25 mins / Total time 40 mins + cooling time / V
You’ll need: Baking paper, and a 10 inch loose bottomed flan tin
125g unsalted butter at room temperature + extra for greasing
50g golden caster sugar + plus extra for dusting
1 tsp vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
175g plain flour
1. Preheat your oven to 180°C/160°C fan/350°F/gas mark 4. Line a loose based flan tin with baking paper and grease well with butter.
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, sugar, salt and vanilla extract. You can do this with a wooden spoon or use a mixer. Once smooth and creamy add the of flour.
3. Mix until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Pour into the centre of the tin and spread out evenly. Press down with your finger tips until you have a firm biscuit like dough.
4. Bake for 15 minutes or until slightly golden. Leave to cool fully in the tin before sprinkling with 2 golden caster sugar. Carefully remove the shortbread from the tin and slice into pieces. The mixture will be very short and crumbly so don’t worry too much if some bits break off, it’s part of the charm. Enjoy with a cup of tea (obviously).
If you’ve had a go at making my shortbread or any of my recipes, I’d love to hear about it @corrieheale firstname.lastname@example.org
“Listen Zara, I don’t care what you say, I am not a bloody large” I panted angrily as I struggled to pull what can only be described as a worm coloured dress over my head. I don’t even like the colour ‘worm’ only Kim Kardashian can pull off ‘worm’ everyone knows that. Anyway, in an attempt to dodge the humongous queue I opted to try the dress on over my clothes on the shop floor, big mistake. So here I was, in the middle of Zara’s heaving Covent Garden store trapped inside the offending worm dress.
‘This can’t possibly be a large” I spat as my face turned an alarming shade of puce. I ducked down behind a rail of jackets and gave it another tug but just couldn’t get the damn thing over my boobs.
“Excuse me, can I get to the mirror?” I wildly spun around on my knees and looked up at Gigi Hadid. Okay so it wasn’t actually Gigi Hadid but it might as well have been, the skinny blonde thing had already pushed pass me and was now holding a top up to her delicate little chest admiring herself. At least she doesn’t have any boobs I thought to myself and grinned but then realised it was my ample bosoms that had got me into this mess in the first place. I gave the dress one final big pull and whipped it off over my head.
“YEEEESS!” I roared (a little too loudly) in the mirror at Gigi Hadid but Gigi had gone, in her place was a scary old Italian lady who stared back at me with disgust. Whatever.
I hung the now disheveled dress on a hanger and glanced at the capital ‘L’ on the label, since when was being a size 12 a large? Fuck you Zara and fuck your ugly worm dress I thought as I swept out of the shop.
When I got home I was still rather cross so decided to take my frustration out on a cake. Angrily beating eggs and creaming butter together can be very therapeutic after an upsetting shopping trip.
I decided to make Bara Brith, a kind of Welsh fruit loaf infused with tea. Traditionally you soak the dried fruit in the tea over night but I’m too greedy and too impatient for this so I created a quick version. Six hours and three Bara Brith’s later (one burnt, one sunk, one too dry) I finally got the recipe right. Serve with lashings of butter and a cup of tea, mwynhau!
Bara brith Makes one loaf / Hands on time 25 mins / Takes 1 hour 20 mins + cooling / V❄ You’ll need: 21cm x 12cm loaf tin 180g sultanas 300ml boiling water 2 black tea bags 2 tbs orange juice 1 tbs honey 2 medium eggs 140g soft brown sugar 125g unsalted butter 1 tsp mixed spice ½ tsp ground cinnamon
½ ground ginger 260g self raising flour Pinch of salt
1. Preheat an oven to 160°C/140°C fan/325°F/gas mark 3 and grease a loaf tin with butter. In a large saucepan, add the sultanas, tea bags and 300ml of boiling water. Give it a stir to allow the tea to infuse and bring to the boil. Reduce and simmer for 2-3 minutes. 2. Meanwhile measure out the butter and sugar in a large mixing bowl and add 2 tbs of the tea liquid. Drain the sultanas, discard the rest of the liquid and add to the butter and sugar. Stir well until the butter has melted. Add the orange juice and the honey and mix well. 3. In a separate small bowl, beat the eggs with a fork before adding to the mixture. Stir until combined before putting to one side. 4. In a medium sized bowl, measure out the dry ingredients and mix together. Add to the wet mixture a bit at a time and stir until fully incorporated. Once combined, pour into the greased loaf tin.
5. Bake for 30 minutes before carefully and quickly, covering the cake loosely with tin foil in the oven by draping it over the cake and securing it by crunching the sides (do this quickly to avoid the temperature dropping in the oven and to prevent the cake from colouring too much – you want it to stay a nice golden colour). Bake for a further 25 minutes.
6. Once baked, remove from the oven and leave to cool for 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack. Leave to cool for at least 20 minutes before slicing and serving warm with salty butter.
TIP: To keep the cake moist, while it’s still warm wrap in clingfilm and store in a cool dry place. Consume within 3 days.
If you’ve had a go at making my Bara Brith or any of my recipes I’d love to hear about it @corrieheale email@example.com
V– Vegetarian ❄– Suitable for home freezing once cooled. Wrap in a few layers of clingfilm and consume within 3 months.