
Last Saturday, I had so much to do that I decided to do nothing. Instead, I stayed in bed and watched back-to-back episodes of Ally McBeal and ate Marmite on toast. It was the best weekend ever. I laughed, I cried, I even ‘laughied’, which is when you laugh and cry at the same time. Anyway, the next day I managed to peel myself out of bed having achieved nothing – unless you count the new litigation skills I learnt from watching so much Ally McBeal. I do.
Regardless of what an amazing lawyer I’m convinced I would make, it quickly dawned on me that I a) have no money and b) have no food – i.e. not a great start when you’re a food blogger. Luckily, I had just enough money to go to the corner shop and buy a few jars of olives. My friend Anne-Marie had recently asked me if I had a recipe for tapenade on my website, and I said no – so thought I’d do that. Later that day, I found myself back in bed, watching back-to-back episodes of Ally McBeal and eating two different types of tapenade on toast. What? At least I did something!
Black & green olive tapenade
Serves 6-8 / Hands on time 10 mins / Total time 10 mins / V Vn Gf Df ❄
You’ll need: A food processor
Black olive tapenade
200g (drained weight) pitted black olives in brine. I used a mix of Kalamata olives and black.
1 tsp capers
1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
1 garlic clove, peeled and roughly chopped
1 tsp red wine vinegar
Juice of half a lemon
Small handful of chopped parsley to serve (optional)
½ lemon, juice
Small handful of chopped parsley to serve (optional)
Drain the olives and put them in a food processor along with the other ingredients, leaving out the parsley. Blitz until you have your desired texture, I like my tapenade quite coarse so keep the blitzing to a minimum. Serve on toast, sprinkled with freshly chopped parsley and drizzled with extra virgin olive oil.

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V– Vegetarian Vn– Vegan Gf– Gluten free Df– Dairy free.
❄– Freeze on the day of making, in an air tight container. Defrost fully and consume within 3 days. Freeze for up to 3 months.